Alice Vincenti
3 Min read
Signposting
Article
Resource
20 Jun '23
Many of us expect sleepless nights and nappy changes, but few realise how profoundly parenthood rewires our brains. These neurological changes are part of a natural process that prepares us to care for our children but they can also leave us feeling more sensitive, overwhelmed, and even anxious. This article explores some of the key ways in which our brains adapt to our new roles.
And why have they impacted me so much?
When we give birth or even experience skin-to-skin contact with a baby, oxytocin is released, which supports the brain in “rewiring” to centre the baby in our lives. This is a protective factor for humans and animals alike, helping to keep our young safe. Humans are among the most dependent species, requiring significant care and effort post-birth to ensure survival. This internal rewiring enables us to instinctively prioritise our baby’s needs over our own.
• It’s common knowledge that sleep becomes more interrupted in our children’s early years, reducing our overall sleep quality.
• Electrodermal reactivity is the measurement of that “sweaty palms” reaction when we’re stressed. This tends to be higher with poor quality or less sleep. This heightened reactivity makes us more sensitive to sensory stimuli when we’re tired. Our nervous system, which controls our behaviours and reactions, can become strained when sleep is lacking, leading to reduced control over our responses. This is why tiredness may make us feel more irritable, snappier, or prone to struggle with decision-making.
• So, tired parents, give yourself grace! When a rough night leaves you struggling to make decisions, it’s okay to choose the easier or more comforting option, whether that’s a piece of cake or a quiet moment. On better-rested days, you can make healthier choices when your electrodermal reactivity has subsided.
• At the Parent Health Hub, we often talk about how, when a child enters our lives, our nervous system must immediately process more sensory stimuli. This includes family sounds, interactions, and the tactile experience of lifting, carrying, cuddling, and hand-holding.
• This increase in sensory input can be a lot for the brain to process, potentially leading to dysregulation. As a result, we may experience heightened feelings of overwhelm.
• As mentioned, dysregulation can extend and intensify episodes of anxiety. This, combined with social pressure and unrealistic expectations of parents, can be heavy to bear.
• Today, it’s essential to reassess these expectations and focus on our own needs and preferences as parents. What works for your family may differ from the Browns next door—and that’s perfectly okay. Let Mr. and Mrs. Brown know that too!
Parenthood reshapes us, both inside and out. These neurological changes, while challenging, are part of what makes us responsive and resilient as parents. Understanding why we feel more sensitive, occasionally overwhelmed, or anxious can empower us to approach these feelings with patience and self-compassion. Remember, the journey of parenthood is unique to each of us, so embrace what works best for you and your family, knowing these transformations are helping you grow alongside your little one.
If these neurological changes feel overwhelming, you’re not alone. Understanding sensory regulation can make a significant difference in managing stress and finding balance as a parent. For more strategies on navigating sensory overload and supporting your nervous system, check out our Sensory Regulation Course, designed to help you feel more in control and connected, even on the toughest days.
If it is to understand how parenthood changes impact your identity and the adjustment to being a parent, take a look at our Identity course. This course is packed with tools to help you build confidence and motivation as a parent.
At the parent health hub we prioritise parents
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