Why is bedtime so triggering for me right now?

We hear different experiences of bedtime routines continuously from parents.

Children’s different sleep patterns, different developmental stages, different phases. It goes on and on.

And there are the phases that bedtime feels like going to battle. And yes it can sometimes be challenging because of the little ones due to mood, tiredness level, yet another bug they've picked up, the list could go on…

But what about the times that it's a battle with yourself?

With your own patience.

You’ve had a full day from the moment everyone else opened their eyes. You have worked for hours paid or unpaid labour; all our roles consist of a workload, without even addressing the mental load. You've played each role throughout the day as if it were a delicate violin… and come to bedtime routine, you may be on your last string.

That last wavering string is as thin as your patience.

When we look at this point in the day. Our energy levels are tending to drop, that final push to get to adult chill time. Neurologically we may feel overwhelmed and frazzled from the demands of the day.

You are not alone if you find the bedtime routine prickly as a parent. Yes, it can be a calm, lovely part of the day with our children at times. But it is ok to acknowledge that there are phases when we struggle with bedtime because of the tune of our own violin.

What can we do to help us manage bedtime routines when we feel frazzled?

Routine. Routine is essential for both children and adults. This is because neurologically we search for patterns and routines. Try to stick to your personal routine, remembering that routines do not have to be regimented but more so familiar patterns. Add soothing personal touches such as each sharing something really special about your day or singing a personal favourite song together each night.

• Take a moment to centre yourself before the bedtime routine commences. Remember that this may be the lowest level that your energy cup may reach today. Try and have a drink and if required a snack to fuel your energy 20 minutes before the bedtime routine commences. Take a moment to calm your breathing with some controlled breaths. This increase in oxygen can boost energy and calm the nervous system.

• Before the bedtime routine is a great time to provide everyone with some heavy muscle work (meaning activities that require lots of effort from our muscles). We tend to think that our bodies should be calm and still before bed, but some jumping or crashing into pillows can provide the body with some organising sensory input for our nervous system. This can help our nervous system make sense of the day's input and regulate ourselves.

• The firm squeeze. A tight hug or squeezing your pillow just before bed is a way to send calming messages to our nervous system. Add this one into everyone’s bedtime routine for a more relaxing settled night's sleep ahead.

Sweet dreams all

If you would like to learn more about how you can manage your nervous system to support you to reduce feelings of overwhelm and frustration and to increase a sense of calm for the whole family take a look at our Sensory Regulation course available here.